At what point...

At what point does one decide to no longer pursue what you love? I see so many people on a day to day basis that are just working somewhere to "make ends meet" and are miserable with what they're doing. I, for one, cannot be one of these people. It just doesn't work...

Well... That's not entirely true. I did work at a job that wasn't my passion for almost ten years. I was a manager for a national camera retail chain. At first it was a great job for a fresh faced 19 year old me. Stable, salaried, easy hours, etc. However it was also way more responsibility than most other 19 year olds had at that time. Instead of going out and partying with college friends I was going to bed early because I had to work the next day. Responsibility is in my blood (unless we're talking money) and I have a tough time doing anything that doesn't involve a large amount of it.

After that job though, I really started wondering why it was that I had never really chased what I wanted to do with my life, then I started wondering what I wanted to do with my life. The bottom line is I want to be my own boss, own my own business either in photography or beer brewing. Though honestly, if I just opened up a taco truck I'd be ok with it as long as it was mine and I was calling the shots. As I think about it it makes the most sense, I mean what is the ultimate amount of responsibility you can have? Calling your own shots and owning your own business has got to be at the top of the list.

So what am I doing in Portland working for a call center? At what point in my day of answering the phone am I making any sort of decision? Calling any shots? That is the problem, well, WAS the problem. Working in a call center has got to be just as bad, if not worse, than factory work. You sit in a cubicle farm in front of a computer and a phone. The computer is locked down to some extent so that you stay somewhat focused on your job and the phone beeps when it's time for you to work. Ugh, that beep, it's the worst and best sound I've ever had to put up with. There were days that I'd rather hear the panic alarm on a film processor go off and there were days where I couldn't wait to hear it out of boredom. Regardless, I can not think of a job that is much worse than answering a phone all day.

What did I do? I quit. Does this mean that I wasn't good at it? I wouldn't say so, I was ranked fairly well for someone who had only been doing that job for 5 months before the rankings were pulled. Does this mean I'm irresponsible? Well, yeah, probably should've put in some notice and saved up some money but what good would that have done? I'd rather be cleaning bathrooms than have to hear that beep again.

Ultimately I moved to Portland to take pictures, brew beer, ha`ve fun and somehow make money doing it. I can put up with a shitty job that I don't like and live a lot closer to people who mean much more to me. Now though, it's make or break time. I must do something I have a passion for and get paid to do it. I will find a way to do it and once I do God help my competition because I will be great at it.